"The Accidental Jaywalker" by Ben Crowder

I accidentally jaywalked today

I didn’t mean to

I was thinking about tithing

Okay, I wasn’t thinking about tithing

There was a girl

A nice-looking girl

Down the way

She crossed the street

I crossed too

I’m glad the car stopped

And the other car

And the FedEx truck

I wish the bike had stopped

I got up

I shrugged off the paramedics

The girl walked into an emergency preparedness store

I followed her in

She bought two hundred pounds of wheat

I bought four hundred

Also, they don’t deliver

And my car died yesterday

(Finished burying it this morning)

So now I’m on the sidewalk making bread

And the girl is next to me rolling pretzels

(She doesn’t have a car either)

And we’re talking and laughing

A police officer comes up to us

He’s in my ward

He doesn’t want any bread

(Bread dough, anyway)

He saw me earlier

He’s taking me to the station

The girl is smiling at me

(Because it’s me getting carted away, not her)

I look down at the sidewalk

At a long number she made out of pretzel ropes

Odd

(Though the number itself is even)

She pretends her hand is a phone

And smiles again.

This piece was published in 2013 as part of the 2nd Annual Mormon Lit Blitz by the Mormon Lit Lab. Sign up for our newsletter for future updates.