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“The Five Year Journal” by Katherine Cowley

This journal belongs to Hannah Bolt (Rinehart!)

February 20th 2010: I know you’re supposed to start journals at the beginning of the year, but this was on discount at Deseret Book. Journaling=righteousness points, right? And anyone can write a couple sentences a day. 2011: I’ve written in my journal every day for a year. Wow. Now that I’m on year two, it should be cool to always see what I was doing exactly a year ago. Also, Derek brought me flowers. 2012: Surprise date: bowling, dinner, and a photo scavenger hunt. People keep saying the honeymoon stage ends, but I don’t believe it. 2013: I finally gave in and went to group therapy. Embarrassing amounts of tears. I hated it. But I’ll probably go back. 2014: A doctor’s appointment this morning. Heard the heartbeat. I’m happy…but nervous. Can we handle a baby?

June 8th 2010: Was not excited for the single adult stake activity committee meeting. But I met the nicest guy. And I mean nicest in a good way. We talked for several hours afterwards. (Also, nice looking!) 2011: I finally found the perfect wedding dress. 17 days! Did I really just meet Derek a year ago? 2012: Derek’s always busy these days. I wish work would give him a break. But I went on an awesome girl’s night with former roomies. 2013: Went to the temple this morning—felt peace while there, but it disappeared by the time I got home. Also, I dropped three glasses today. They shattered all over the kitchen floor. 2014: Every time I think I’ve hit the point of complete forgiveness, something sets me off—plunges me back into the former emotions. Today it was a comment in Sunday School.

October 7th 2010: College just wears me out. Especially days like today. Bombed my chemistry test. But Derek gave me chocolate. 2011: Went to a pumpkin patch with my family. My little sister kept telling me to stop making goo-goo eyes at Derek, but I told her I’m married now, so I can make as many goo-goo eyes as I want. 2012: Apparently Derek listened to conference talks. Because he said we had to talk. He has a pornography addiction. All I could say was “We’ll get through this, we’ll get through this.” I should’ve yelled. 2013: Was having a good day, until I saw last year’s entry and realized what day it is. 2014: Lots of contractions now. I can’t tell, based on books and blogs, if these are real contractions or Braxton-Hicks. Is there actually a difference between the two?

December 13th 2010: Found the perfect present for Derek. I think it says, “I’m serious about us.” But hopefully it doesn’t look like I spent too much money. 2011: To celebrate us, we started a new family tradition—we bought a real, fresh Christmas tree! We even made popcorn garlands to hang on it. 2012: I thought the holiday season would distract me. No such luck. Borrowing my parents’ old fake Xmas tree this year. It’s missing so many branches. 2013: Derek took me on a surprise date tonight. Nothing particularly noteworthy, but it made me feel young again. Like when we were first dating. 2014: We went as a family to the temple lights. Baby Will’s first time. Got a family photo in front of my favorite part of temple square–the Christus statue. Life isn’t perfect, but I wouldn’t change it.

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